“Do we see what we
think we see? Do we love as we believe we love?”
It has been several months since I’ve sat down to be quiet
and listen to what is going on in my heart. It’s rare to go this long without a
check in but it’s been a particularly busy time. By now I know myself well
enough to recognize the tugs of my heart letting me know it’s time to reset so
I took time to do so this weekend. I’m a big believer in the often thrown
around statement of not being able to give others what we aren’t able to give
ourselves. It’s true. And the more I’m able to get to know myself and treat
myself in the way I want to be treated and treat others, the more and more the
relationships I have are strengthened and fun and light and beautiful. It’s
counterintuitive but the more I know and love me and am able to sit with
myself, the more I am able to know and love and sit with people in my life.
There is a continual quest in my heart for living the
absolute best life I can and to do the things that matter. What are the things
that matter? We all get to pick what our life story is about and I pick love.
It sounds cliché but this includes a lot. I’m talking about friendships,
family, random encounters, romantic relationships, and the sharing of oneself.
This last thing – the sharing of one’s self – seems to be
the most important. I have experienced the most delight when I have not only
been given permission to be myself but absolutely adored for that. I think we’d
all be hard pressed to say there aren’t many tugs in our lives asking us to act
in certain ways, think certain ways, look certain ways, etc – but essentially –
the world gives a mold of what’s right and many of us try to form ourselves to
that shape. It’s a wonderful experience to create our own blueprint and not just
live it out but love living it out. I
think it can confuse people but I also believe it invites the people around us
to be more who they are. And when I am most me and you are most you, the
connection that is created is pretty darn cool. These are the silliest, most
real, most unguarded moments I have and that’s what I want my life to be about.
I want to be able to meet someone and in 5 minutes share an experience that is
real even if we never see each other again. I want to have people in my life
who know that we can cry and joke and hold each other and play and nothing
changes. We both get to show up just as we are, be wherever we are and express
it. It’s safe to be you and it’s safe to be me. There’s nothing threatening
about it. There is trust. Nothing is forced. It’s energizing, and being
together makes you better.
Some people don’t understand why my alone time is so dear
and why I’d choose to stay in on a Friday night to do things that make me
happy. That’s okay. All I know is that when I can sit with myself and wrestle
with my heart, I can sit with anyone in the world who is hurting and love and
hold them through it. For me, that’s what life is about.
[being alone] “isn’t a
hiding place. It is a finding place.”
No comments:
Post a Comment