Lots of people are unhappy in their jobs and relationships
and know they’re in unhealthy situations but are afraid of making a
change. My mind spins around a lot with
thoughts about life so when I hear about unhappy relationships and unfulfilling
career paths, I’m left thinking about the many - majority I think - people who
find a job they hate so they can afford a certain lifestyle and are in
relationships that either make them unhappy or put limitations on who they are and
how much they can grow. Shouldn’t having
a job that makes you happy and a partner who makes you more you be non-negotiable and not worth
compromising over? When we compromise on
these types of things doesn’t it become a compromise of who we are? Why does this seem like the first step to
becoming disenchanted, disengaged, and miserable?
It’s interesting to me.
Traditionally we spend the majority of our week at work and a lot of our
free time with our partner, so it’s baffling that someone would pick something
they hate and a person who doesn’t bring out more of who they are. After spending the majority of my youth very
unhappy, confused, and in a litany of unhealthy relationships, I can see that
the different paths I’ve gone down and my purpose in life, is specifically to
discover what makes me and the people I love happiest and to shun and cut out
the things and people who either don’t support that or bring me down. Every day I think about the direction my life
is going and if it’s on track with who
I want to be.
As I was driving to work last week I thought about how
expensive life can be so I absolutely relate to the thought process of the need
to find a stable job, even one you don’t like, to have the outcome of having
more money to be more comfortable and be able to do the things you want to
do. But I also wonder if our idea of
what comfort entails is off kilter. I
often wonder what the world would be like if we did away with currency and went
back to a system of trade and handshakes, if we all put our guards and
sarcastic comments away and interacted only with kindness. I think we’d have more dream chasers and see
people walking around glowing with happiness.
How do people get to be 90 years old and filled with
regret? I think about it a lot and it’s
changed the way I live. More
specifically, Who do I want to be when
I’m 90? and What do I want my legacy
to be? Time passes so quickly and it
seems tragic to spend so much time doing something we hate or with a person who
makes us self-conscious and unhappy.
Maybe I’m naïve but I really believe if we find what we love and do it
to the best of our ability, financial comfort will naturally follow. I also believe in true love and having a soul
mate. I believe in laughter, mutual
respect, and building each other up out of desire for our partner’s
wellbeing. Given the amount of
antidepressants that are prescribed, it seems we’re all on a quest for
happiness and the recipe seems so easy. I’m
in no way an expert on life but for years I had a pretty intense battle with depression
and for me a return to simplicity – getting excited to walk outside barefoot, taking
joy in nature, being good to ourselves and the people around us is part of the
answer. The answer isn’t more money,
more things, marriage, doing drugs, or being seen at socialite parties and
events.
Something I recently read:“In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions. When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence? Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experienced the loss of soul. Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves.”
I posted this on Facebook and someone added in “When did you stop dreaming? When did Nature lose her wonder?”
There’s merit to these questions and I believe, the path to happiness.
