"My experience of life reflects where I focus my attention and energy."
Increasingly it seems I am hearing of hardships, illnesses, and
a never-ending list of life struggles. I keep hearing people ask if life is
supposed to be this hard. At times I’ve wondered the same thing. We are all
dealing with something but whether we
marinate in it, ignore it, trudge through, or acknowledge it with our chin up
is entirely up to us.
***
Around the house, my dad is a man of very few words. I
learned from a young age that when he does speak it’s because he has something
worthwhile to say and that it was energy well spent to soak up his words. He
has often said that people talk on and on about all the tragedies in the world
and how ugly the world is and that he didn’t understand because the world is so
beautiful. Not once have I heard my dad complain of anything – not when he’s
sick, not when he’s tired, not when life isn’t fair. Asked how he’s doing and
he always says some version of “wonderful” with a twinkle in his eyes.
***
I think of this wisdom often now as I recognize that the
life we create is of our own doing. None of us can escape heartache. None of us
can escape tragedy. None of us have an “easy” path. The struggles are different
and sometimes others’ lives look more appealing but no one really knows what
it’s like to be in another’s shoes -- we only see the superficial outer layers of other people. We don't see the energy, dedication, and perseverance it has taken to be/have whatever it is we see. It is decisions and commitment to those decisions and how we respond to life's challenges that shape who we are as an
individual. Those choices shape who we are and that is who we become. It’s both empowering and scary. But
it’s pretty cool that at some point we get to pick that the shape of our lives
is entirely up to us. A great reminder someone recently said to me is that
challenges are actually opportunities. I love this and it has become a bit of a
mantra for me. When things aren’t ideal
(whether you’re ill, financially strapped, heartbroken, uncertain, insert struggle here), what opportunity could this be presenting? How can we respond
differently? Because every time we respond to these challenges, ahem –
opportunities, and see them as opportunities,
we are shaping a pretty cool outlook.
What kind of person did you want to be when you were little?
What things excited you? What did you love doing? How did you imagine yourself?
I think back to when I was little a lot – I think it’s the truest version of me
before I became a little guarded, a little insecure, and trying to guess what
would be the “right” thing. Finding that little girl’s knowledge of who I am
brings me back to a track that feels right – it’s a track that doesn’t really
care if others think it’s weird I’d rather stay in on a Friday night with my
cats and a book, it’s a track that isn’t afraid to say I’m a little bit nervous
and unsure, and most importantly it’s a track that allows me to be straightforward
about who I am and where I am and that makes me completely happy and completely
free.
***
It seems I’ve come full circle to discover what my dad has
always said. Smiling is a choice and so are tears. If you need to cry for a
day, do it but don’t get stuck there. Life is too short. I choose beauty
because my dad was right. Life is
beautiful and I want my eyes to twinkle like his.
